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Vaginal Support Group
What to do if you think you, or someone you love, has a vagina?
Having a vagina can be an absolutely frightening experience. Vagina
effects all people and it doesn't discriminate. Whether you're
black, white, Asian, young, old, rich, poor, or even Korean, you may
already be inflicted with vagina. We at the Vagina Research
Institute have spoke with several vagina'ed individuals and would
like to share their advice in hopes to serve the vaginally ignorant.
Here are some common questions that people with vagina have:
Will my vagina make me die?
More than likely, yes. While the purpose of the vagina is still
unknown, it is a well documented fact that 100% of those inflicted
with vagina, have their lives ended with death.
Why does my vagina bleed every month?
Well there are 2 schools of thought about the blood issue; 1st being
that the vagina gets routinely sick of it's own smell and has
developed internal ulcers that tend to bleed every month. 2nd school
of thought comes from the religious right, and claims that vagina is
a result of the devil and one of the devil's promises to Jesus
Christ was that he would, among other things, ruin all the white
jeans of everyone in the world. This is reportedly claimed in the
bible, however this cannot be confirmed because no one has yet read
the bible.
My car keys keep slipping out of my vagina. Any recommendations?
Quite often, people with vagina use it to keep their keys and
identification card when they go out bar hopping. If your keys
continue to slip out of the vaginal opening, get one of those sharp
bottle opener / key chain things and, using slight force, dig a
groove into the inner wall of your vagina so they can be hung there
like a hat rack. And, depending on the size of your vagina, you can
also use the same method to sneak your beers out of the bar.
What is likely to be found in a vagina?
I'm glad you asked. Vaginas on the whole seem to cling to those
members of our society who can be construed as moody, arrogant and
even downright hard to get along with. The current state of thought
on the contents of the vagina tends to lead toward a bacteria that
seems to tax one's common sense quite thoroughly. Researchers seem
to think that vaginas may contain an undiscovered enzyme that
attacks one's more cerebral or 'rational' traits and leans the
individual toward irrational thinking.
Case in point: A vagina researcher once discovered that his roommate
was a victim of vagina. The vagina'ed individual seemed to be
relentless in her pursuit of control of the researcher, despite
repeated attempts to explain that much of this asserted control was
in areas in no way connected to the vagina'ed person. Eventually the
vagina'ed person found a more tolerant and gullible person to take
advantage of and escaped the researcher's quarters. But this episode
taught us quite a bit, and we will one day learn more once we are
able to hold another vaginoid in captivity.
If you suspect that you have a vagina or have any questions about
your vagina, let us know! Call 1-800-VAG-INAS. Operators standing by
on 24-hour call.
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