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Military intelligence
My uncle Jack served in the late 60s on the aircraft carrier USS
Ranger, CVA-61, in the Tonkin Gulf off the east coast of Vietnam.
Having spent his youth with Ham radio, he became an electronics
technician. He came aboard fresh from high school, Basic Training,
and the US Navy's radio repairman's school.
In the radio shop, as probably elsewhere on the ship, in the Navy,
and in military life in general, life is regulated by a strict
hierarchy. In small organizational units, where the hierarchy is
rather flat, the pecking order must be decided by some means other
than stripe count. In the Ranger's radio repair shop, the man with
the least seniority was assigned to arrive earlier in the morning to
make the coffee, so it would be ready by the time the rest of the
crew arrived.
The first morning out of port, the chief petty officer was giving
him the shop tour, focusing closely on coffee-making procedures.
"Ya see kid, first ya put eight scoops of coffee in da basket, den
ya put da water in da pot, up to dat line. Den ya put da basket in
da pot, put da lid on, and plug it inta da bulkhead. Ya got dat,
kid?" "Yes sir, got it."
Jack didn't drink coffee back then, and he still doesn't care much
for it. And he didn't particularly like the idea of making the
coffee for the duration of the cruise, for everyone else to drink.
And he valued those ten extra minutes in the rack as much as the
next sailor, perhaps even more.
So the next morning, Jack put eight scoops of coffee in the filter
basket. The next morning, nine scoops. The morning after that, ten
scoops. And so on...
By the end of the week, the rest of the shop was convinced that
Jack, being incapable even of making a decent pot of coffee, was
dumber than the average tree stump. They arrived at the consensus
that the honor of coffee detail should be removed from his list of
responsibilities, and given to someone more competent. Jack just
meekly hung his head at the shame, said "yes sir" appropriately, and
enjoyed those extra ten minutes of sleep for the rest of the cruise.
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