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Army retirement
The Pentagon recently found it had too many Generals and offered
an early retirement bonus. They promised any General who retired
right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch
measured, in a straight line along the retiring general's body,
between two points he chose.
The first General accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from
the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked out
with a check for $720,000.
The second General asked them to measure from the tip of his
outstretched hands to his toes. 8 feet. He walked out with a check
for $960,000.
Meantime, the first General had tipped off the third. When he was
asked where to measure, he told the pension man, "From the tip of my
penis to the tip of my testicles." The pension man said that would
be fine, but he'd better get the Medical Officer to do the
measuring.
The Medical Officer attended and asked the General to drop 'em and
he did. The Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of the
General's penis and began to work back. "My God!" He said, "Where
are your testicles?" The General replied, "Back in Vietnam."
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